Superwomen

Acceptance is a heroic attempt. It is one of the hardest things to do next to Patience and Faith.

This is also why I'm not a superhero because I have very little of any.

I had a thought the other day... a guilty thought. The sort that makes you think 'Shit...'


So shit....

I'm guilt-ridden for not accepting my mates for who they are, when they have supported me at every turn of my life for being me. The eccentric, extremely difficult, loud and vocal me. Yeap, they'd be the one right now to say, 'Aww, you're alright... don't be too harsh on yourself and (possibly) we love you for who you are.' And that makes me sink even lower in shits.

This all, of course, started from me. Me -- for going through all these series of mind-altering, character-analysing seminars. Me -- for pushing the brand of new psycho transforming ideas down my pals' throats. Me -- for believing that my AHAs should be everyone's AHAs.

Not everyone gets the same epiphanies.

I'm not smarter than everyone else. I'm not any ounce more superior. I'm not any chance better.

Acceptance is not about scraping people out of their comfort zones. It is accepting them for who they are and supporting their ambition or maybe even the lack of it as their own unique personality. If the whole world was made out of leaders, we'd all end up killing one another. If the whole world was made out of shakers, well... I guess the whole world would bounce out of its sphere. We need the yin for the yang, the yang for the yin.

UN-acceptance is the reason why many marriages end up in divorces. Of course that opinion itself may be very off track since I've never been married or in a 'stable relationship' before but women who want to change their Ray Romanos (Everybody Loves Raymond) into stepford husbands could be in love for the wrong reason. Personally, 6 out of 10 people I know use more words to gripe about their boyfriends/ husbands than love. I'm actually quite happy to know that I indeed do know 40% sane happy women.

The top 5 things they complain about their imperfect men are:
1. 'He's not romantic enough.'
2. 'He doesn't care about his appearance enough.'
3. 'He doesn't spend time with me enough.'
4. 'He doesn't spend on me enough.'
5. 'He doesn't listen enough.'

Take note that there's repetition of the word 'enough'. (Whatever is 'enough' anyway?)

People who don't know acceptance, don't understand (enough). Let's use me for an example. I don't think I've taken the time to understand what my friends are really like. It doesn't mean I don't care, but it's just that I've didn't care enough. I've been a blardy selfish arse.

So this is to me mates. Thanks for withstanding my crap. You've done well, superheroes....

Snacks & Snippets (Random Thoughts)

Hrmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....

Seeing I have an hour to kill, I should blog for the sake of blogging.
Work is at an odd hour today - 5p.m. till 9.30p.m. on a Friday night. It's late night shopping and everyone has got their pay cashed in. Ka Ching. By end of tomorrow, the weeks' pay is gone. Why? Because tomorrow, the horses are out of their dens and on to the tracks. It's Caulfied Cup time!

See the pretty ladies in stilletoes; their fancy bird-feathered hats; the champagne glasses bubbling with Moet & Chandon; their pretty painted smiles and starry white teeth.

See the men in their polished shoes, smoothed out hair, gleaming manicured fingernails; their practiced jokes; their alcohol breath; the black and blue smoke coming out from their credit cards.

Ah... spring.

And how do we measure an act of decent kindness?

Is it a smile to a stranger? A hug to a mourner? The chair to an elder? Or is it the value of generosity you put in the bowl of a beggar?

I was standing in KFC last night. We were ordering dinner. A scruffy looking guy asked us for a dollar. My companion asked, 'Why do you need a dollar? Is it for drugs?'. The toothless twenty-something man said no. But instead of giving him money, my friend bought him a meal. The act I witness, is something I read in books, made in movies, imagined in dreams. If he was trying to impress me, I was. But seeing that it wasn't a date, I view it as an act of genuine thoughtfulness and generosity.

The scruffy toothless young man wolved down his Zinger meal. Walked out of the door without saying a word of thanks. Came back in again and started where he left: asking patrons for a dollar to spare.

My parents have always taught the kids to be nice to the people you meet. It pays to be nice. You never know when fate will bite you in the rear end.

I was waiting for the doors to open. 9 a.m. shifts aren't my personal favourites. Another girl was there. She looked familiar to me. Where have I seen her before? School? She's definitely Malaysian. We exchanged niceties. I told her what I thought, found out she's three years younger than I am (rules out school, I rarely remember anyone apart from my year). Work? Hrm. Nope, never worked with magazines.

Waitaminute, did I say magazine? But of course! She was one of the finalist for the first seventeen Magazine Star Search! She did her cheer leading act on stage. Helps her mom with her batik designing business. Sister to four other siblings.

A few thousand miles away from the streets of KL. Three years later. I meet my past in front of Sportsgirl in Melbourne, Australia at (now) 9.10 a.m. on a rather warm spring morning.

Neigh

I've just been had by my friend. And to make matters even worse, she used my own technique against me. I mean, it's like having a parent being told off by their kids and you can't rebutt because it's right y'know?

Sugar.

It went like this:

Her parents made her go to a lantern festival. She didn't want to go. She kicked up a fuss. Her parents fussed at her kicks.

I'm stricken with envy here because I've been pining to go for a lantern party. My other friends have been sending me invites from home and I tell ya, it's sure isn't nice to feel so welcomed. What's the point of it when you can't be there?

But that's besides the point, I love mid-autumn festivals. It's that one time in the year you're allowed to play with fire. You get to see beautiful floating luminescent bubbles on one end and a big kid at the other.

The year before, when the monkees were away, I'd accumulate a mass of lanterns and lit them up in the garden singlehandedly anyway. Last year, I had to slave over a story due the next day, my friends called at my gate with lanterns. This time the monkees were only too delighted and since I'd burnt the lanterns the previous year (Note: private bonfire), we used an indecent battery-operated Ultraman lantern and walked into the dark night with a bunch of rowdy teenagers. One other year, we had the Argentinian neighbours put up lanterns in their mango trees while we sipped Chinese tea, munched on mooncakes, and swapped local legends till late. At college, my mates and I decided to throw it at an Indian classmate's house and while we ordered pizza, we vandalized her driveway with rows of candles.

There are many other sentimental moments I can think of about mid-autumn festival. I can still smell the freshly baked mooncakes and the evening sun streaming through the windows. I can see my mom making a fresh batch with the delicately carved wooden mold. I can taste the spices, nuts, egg yolks, sweet pastries in my mind. It rules over Chinese New Year, Chap Go Meh, Hanukkah and even Christmas.

So you see, it has a very very very special place in my heart.

But I digress.

So since I'd openly expressed my dissatisfaction to my friends on msn chat, they suggested why don't I just throw one?

And before I knew it, I came up with those sugary stuff that you'd know is bad for you but it still comes out of your mouth anyway... I gave all sorts of excuses: no time, no money, no friends, no this, no that... And you know what? You nag your friends enough, they'd throw the same s*** back. So I had an earful from my friends. No time? Make time. No money? Make money. No friends. Make friends. Call it karma right? Man... it sucked.

So folks, I thank you for your straight-face kick-ass honesty. You know when to call a bucket a bucket. You know when to call a hose a hose. You know when to call a spade a spade.

I'm coming down my high horse.

High horses don't agree with me anyway.


[NOTE: Planning & discussion for Mid-Autumn party is currently in progress]

Something Out of Nothing II

When it comes to meeting and conquering the negativity in your life, here is a key question: what can you do, starting today, that will make a difference? What can you do during economic chaos? What can you do when everything has gone wrong? What can you do when you've run out of money, when you don't feel well and it's all gone sour? What can you do?

Let me give you the broad answer first. You can do the most remarkable things, no matter what happens. People can do incredible things, unbelievable things, despite the most impossible or disastrous circumstances.

Here is why humans can do remarkable things: because they are remarkable. Humans are different than any other creation. When a dog starts with weeds, he winds up with weeds. And the reason is because he's a dog. But that's not true with human beings. Humans can turn weeds into gardens.

Humans can turn nothing into something, pennies into fortune, and disaster into success. And the reason they can do such remarkable things is because they are remarkable. Try reaching down inside of yourself; you'll come up with some more of those remarkable human gifts. They're there, waiting to be discovered and employed.

With those gifts, you can change anything for yourself that you wish to change. And I challenge you to do that because you can change. If you don't like how something is going for you, change it. If something isn't enough, change it. If something doesn't suit you; change it. If something doesn't please you, change it. You don't ever have to be the same after today. If you don't like your present address change it — you're not a tree!

If there is one thing to get excited about, it's your ability to make yourself do the necessary things, to get a desired result, to turn the negative into success. That's true excitement.

To Your Success,
Jim Rohn

Soldier On

I think everybody should study ants. They have an amazing four-part philosophy, and here is the first part: ants never quit. That's a good philosophy. If they're headed somewhere and you try to stop them; they'll look for another way. They'll climb over, they'll climb under, they'll climb around. They keep looking for another way. What a neat philosophy, to never quit looking for a way to get where you're supposed to go.

Second, ants think winter all summer. That's an important perspective. You can't be so naive as to think summer will last forever. So ants are gathering in their winter food in the middle of summer.

An ancient story says, "Don't build your house on the sand in the summer." Why do we need that advice? Because it is important to think ahead. In the summer, you've got to think storm. You've got to think rocks as you enjoy the sand and sun.

The third part of the ant philosophy is that ants think summer all winter. That is so important. During the winter, ants remind themselves, "This won't last long; we'll soon be out of here." And the first warm day, the ants are out. If it turns cold again, they'll dive back down, but then they come out the first warm day. They can't wait to get out.

And here's the last part of the ant philosophy. How much will an ant gather during the summer to prepare for the winter? All that he possibly can. What an incredible philosophy, the "all-that-you-possibly-can" philosophy.

Wow, what a great philosophy to have - the ant philosophy. Never give up, look ahead, stay positive and do all you can.

[By: Jim Rohn]

Pride & Joy

Why Some People Have All The Luck

[Warning: May cause dizziness, nausea and possible mental irritation due to disbelief]

By Professor Richard Wiseman, University of Hertfordshire-

Why do some people get all the luck while others never get the breaks they deserve?

A psychologist says he has discovered the answer.

Ten years ago, I set out to examine luck. I wanted to know why some people are always in the right place at the right time, while others consistently experience ill fortune. I placed advertisements in national newspapers asking for people who felt consistently lucky or unlucky to contact me.

Hundreds of extraordinary men and women volunteered for my research and over the years, I have interviewed them, monitored their lives and had them take part in experiments.

The results reveal that although these people have almost no insight into the causes of their luck, their thoughts and behavior are responsible for much of their good and bad fortune. Take the case of seemingly chance opportunities. Lucky people consistently encounter such opportunities, whereas unlucky people do not.

I carried out a simple experiment to discover whether this was due to differences in their ability to spot such opportunities. I gave both lucky and unlucky people a newspaper, and asked them to look through it and tell me how many photographs were inside. I had secretly placed a large message halfway through the newspaper saying: "Tell the experimenter you have seen this and win $50."

This message took up half of the page and was written in type that was more than two inches high. It was staring everyone straight in the face, but the unlucky people tended to miss it and the lucky people tended to spot it.

Unlucky people are generally more tense than lucky people, and this anxiety disrupts their ability to notice the unexpected.

As a result, they miss opportunities because they are too focused on looking for something else. They go to parties intent on finding their perfect partner and so miss opportunities to make good friends. They look through newspapers determined to find certain types of job advertisements and miss other types of jobs.

Lucky people are more relaxed and open, and therefore see what is there rather than just what they are looking for. My research eventually revealed that lucky people generate good fortune via four principles. They are skilled at creating and noticing chance opportunities, make lucky decisions by listening to their intuition, create self-fulfilling prophesies via positive expectations, and adopt a resilient attitude that transforms bad luck into good.

Towards the end of the work, I wondered whether these principles could be used to create good luck. I asked a group of volunteers to spend a month carrying out exercises designed to help them think and behave like a lucky person.

Dramatic results! These exercises helped them spot chance opportunities, listen to their intuition, expect to be lucky, and be more resilient to bad luck.

One month later, the volunteers returned and described what had happened. The results were dramatic: 80% of people were now happier, more satisfied with their lives and, perhaps most important of all, luckier.

The lucky people had become even luckier and the unlucky had become lucky.

Finally, I had found the elusive "luck factor".

Here are Professor Wiseman's four top tips for becoming lucky:

1) Listen to your gut instincts - they are normally right

2) Be open to new experiences and breaking your normal routine

3) Spend a few moments each day remembering things that went well

4) Visualize yourself being lucky before an important meeting or telephone call.


"The happiest people in the world are not those who have no problems, but those who learn to live with things that are less than perfect."

Trippy Tulips

I had a trippy Saturday. It's spring so the flowers are popping out like zits on a greasy teenager's face. Seeing rows of colours in a go was blinding. But like all trippy journeys, this well-trodden path was a pretty happy one. The flowers were ok. After half an hour, you don't know what you're looking at anymore. It was the Dutch folks that made it spectacular. I have something about people. I have a natural fondness for them. I actually like them. Which may not always be such a safe thing to do but in general, I view people as great objects of observation and interest. This was a good weekend. How did it go for yourself?

Cloggers

Spring Shower

Something Out of Nothing

There are four ways to get strawberry ice cream.
What four?

You can say, "Hmm... I'd like some strawberry ice cream." And you go out and get it.

That's what we normal people do.

Or you can say, "I'll want some strawberry ice cream." And you get your boyfriend or girlfriend; husband or wife; son or daughter to get it.

That's what slave drivers do.

Another way to get strawberry ice cream is to think, "Hmm... how about that strawberry ice cream." And someone walks pass and say, 'Er... excuse me but is this your strawberry ice cream?" and you say, "Wow, thanks!"

That's what dreamers do.

And finally, the best way to get strawberry ice cream is when you just think to yourself, "I love some strawberry ice cream now." And it manifests in front of your own eyes.

That's what magicians do.

We are all magicians, believe it or not. But we forget that. We stop believing. We stop dreaming. We stop knowing. We stop understanding how the universe gives those who asks - where do you think it says, 'Seek and you shall Find'; 'Ask and you shall Receive'?
Holy books, wise men, secret letters.

Would you believe it if we were all once formless beings given form? We are in fact, million zillion of energy atoms.

I am crazy. Hell yes. Crazy enough to believe in things that have no scientific proof. But who proved God? Who proved Hell? Who proved electricity?

The world works beyond our imagination. And the only reason why it happens is because we've let ourselves forget.

Haste in Waste

On the road of life, there's always a perfect time for you to pull over to the side of the road, turn off your engine and get out and walk for a while. It's time to feel like you're a bigger part of the journey. If you go too fast, you'll whisk right by beautiful, enriching people and places. Going slow you'll feel more content with where you're going.

Monkee See Monkee Do

See the Monkee?

What Would Have Been

A girl said to her friends, 'what would life have been if I hadn't spent the best six years of my life in a relationship?'
A wife thinks, 'what would life have been like if I hadn't had kids?'
A young man wonders, 'what would life have been like I hadn't made that promise?'

"... would I be happier?"
"... would I be full of life?"
"... would I have been greater?"

Regrets. Fears. Guilt. Shame.

We blame others but the fingers point back. For the choices we make. For the choices we fail to make. For the choices we never dreamnt of.

Are we awake when we're asleep? Or are we asleep when we're awake?

Because it's never really people, objects, places that limit us to our pallid lackluster lives.

Identity Crisis

When: This morning at 8.30a.m.
What: Waiting at Caulfield train station for pickup.
Feeling Rather: Groggy. Cold. Blur.

Car pulls over. Guy waves. I look at driver, thinks: "Hrm... looks like my ride. Different car though."

Guy waves again. Now look closely, thinks: "Yea, could be the guy."

Opens car door, "Hi, good morning."

'Friend' replies, "Morning. How are you?" and clears space for me to get in.

"I'm good." Has a closer look at him. "You look different. Did you do something different to your hair (or maybe face)?"

Guy looks back. "Yeaa... changed my glasses. Say is Mike coming?"

Pause. "Who's Mike?"

Two teen girls approaches. Look at me. The car. At each other.

"Er..."

Long pause. "Wait... are you Johnny?"

"Er... no."

(Thinks real fast: shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit...)
"Oops. Sorry. Wrong guy. Ha. Ha. Ha."
(... shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit)

Quickly exits.

Real friend turns up.

I swear. They had the same voice. Same accent. Same sort of face. Any guy looks identical with baseball cap and glasses.

Eureka

This evening I made baked pear, strawberries with melted chocolate over filo pastry. Spread the filo on a baking tray. Spread and sprinkle with milky love. Chop juicy pears up, bits of strawberries and finally, lavish it with Cadbury dairy chocos. Fold up the pastry corners. Pop it in the oven for about 20 to 25 minutes or until pastry puffs up like a goldfish. Embrace with fork. Absolute heaven on a chilly winter night.

Would be even more fantastic if you softly sift a snow of icing sugar on.

Magic.

A Bite More of Perth...

... From my phone camera

Reads beneath the clock face: "Do minute gone comes ever back again? Take heed and see ye nothing do in vain."
I *heart* Corica's footlong apple strudel
God gave me Rainbow Colours

Running Through

This is why I love keeping old emails. They're like old letters you find in an old shoe box hidden in a musty old room for many old years until you stumble on them again looking for the faded memories of your good ol' days. Ah... Nolstagia sounds like the name of a beautiful Russian doll.

> Here's something I found from an old book. Can't remember the title.
> Book of Etiquette I think. Published in 1941. I'm not one for all the
> self-help rubbish, but this kinda spoke to me.
>
> "There are certain plants so sensitive that their leaves close the moment
> they are touched. There are people like these plants who are so highly
> sensitive that at the least slight, fancied or real, they close up
> tightly within themselves.
>
> Sensitiveness is a form of pride, and pride offends and irritates
> people. It is an exaggerated form of self-consciousness. It is the
> result of too much thinking about self.
>
> If you are sensitive you build a barrier about yourself. People are
> afraid to talk to you for fear they may hurt your feelings. They must be
> forever on guard. They do not feel comfortable in your company.
>
> Tear down this barrier! Don't go about with the injured air of martyr.
> People may sympathize with you, but they will not welcome you and be
> glad to see you. If you see two persons talking together, don't be sure
> that they are discussing you. They are not. Don't imagine that you are
> the center of observation, that people are criticizing you, that every
> careless remark is meant as a personal affront.
>
> It is selfish, this sensitiveness. It reveals sooner than anything else
> that you are bound up in your own little world, that you are not
> interested in things outside of yourself. The way to overcome it is to
> mingle freely with people and to be as impersonal as you possibly can.
> Do not brood over simple remarks and magnify them in your mind. Refuse
> to accept an affront. Force yourself to overlook the trifles that you
> are inclined to take so seriously."

Enough for a Lifetime

I was reading an email I sent everyone on my last day of work in 2004 (I resigned twice from the same company), and I forwarded them this message which I thought was a very meaningful one. No matter how many times I've read it, and you've probably read it too, the meaning still holds true. 'Enough' is enough for a lifetime.

"Recently, a Mother and her daughter were overheard in their last moments together at a regional airport. They had announced her departure and standing near the security gate, they hugged and she said, "I love you. I wish you enough." She in turn said, "Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom." They kissed and she left.

She walked over toward the window where I was seated. Standing there, I could see she wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on her privacy, but she welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?"

"Yes, I have," I replied.

"Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?" I asked. "I am old and she lives much too far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is, the next trip back will be for my funeral," she said.

"When you were saying good-bye I heard you say, "I wish you enough." May I ask what that means?"

She began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone." She paused for a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail, she smiled even more.

"When we said 'I wish you enough,' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them," she continued. Then, turning toward me, she shared the following as if she were reciting it from memory.

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.

I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye."

She then began to sob and walked away."

Wake Me Up When September Ends

It's almost September.

Did someone hit the fast forward button?

Unbelievable.

It never stops. Or slows down. Most of all, it sweeps you off your feet when you're looking the other way.

I have a brother who's getting married this month. I ought to be there. But I'm here.

I have friends who are getting married. I ought to be there. But I'm here.

There's a baby popping out into the world, having her first breath, giving her first cry. I ought to be there. But I'm here.

My monkeys are growing up having birthdays and I ought to be there. But I'm here.

Am I missing out in life? Am I the missing jig saw in somebody's life? Am I living life the fullest when I'm not in the view?

I ought to be here because I'm here.